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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

blogs r boring without pictures..... *hands up to anyone who agrees* i'll upload a shithole wea i did my biz der wen i was at a malang (indonesia) top of the mountain.yes, the only pics i took was "the" shithole, a coke bottle , yeah u heard it right,i'll come bk to it again later, some pics of nice kampong kids whom i adore...erm n i guess tts abt all, well, that place is heaven...the "room" i slept in had big ants crawling ard, to b specific, horrific amount of them ! ! ! as a matter of fact , well i shudder to tink, d air was fresh though, i wld say-invigorating.anyway i shld just show u guys the pics i took which its impossible right nw as d camera is mysteriously nt wz me at the moment.actually its 6-25am in d morn n i dunno y on earth im writing abt tis...yeah.im cranky-duh !!!

Noelle blogs at 2:08 PM


Friday, January 20, 2006

What is fluoxetine?
Fluoxetine is in a class of drugs called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Fluoxetine affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause depression or mood disturbances, eating disorders, or obsessive or compulsive symptoms.
Fluoxetine is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorders, panic disorder, and bulimia (binge eating and purging). Fluoxetine is also used to treat premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), symptoms of which occur in the week or two before a woman's menstrual period and commonly include irritability, mood swings, and tension as well as the physical symptoms of bloating and breast tenderness.
Fluoxetine may also be used for purposes other than those listed in this medication guide.

Noelle blogs at 9:12 PM


What is the most important information I should know about fluoxetine?
While you are taking fluoxetine you may need to be monitored for worsening symptoms of depression and/or suicidal thoughts at the start of therapy or when doses are changed. This concern about the increased risk of suicidal thoughts or behaviors may be greater if you are 18 years of age or younger and are taking fluoxetine. In patients younger than 18 years, the period of risk may extend beyond start of therapy or when doses are changed. Your doctor may want you to monitor for the following symptoms: anxiety, panic attacks, difficulty sleeping, irritability, hostility, impulsivity, severe restlessness, and mania (mental and/or physical hyperactivity). These symptoms may be associated with the development of worsening symptoms of depression and/or suicidal thoughts or actions. Contact your healthcare provider if you develop any new or worsening mental health symptoms during treatment with fluoxetine. Do not stop taking fluoxetine.
Do not stop taking fluoxetine without first talking to your doctor. It may take several weeks before you to start feeling better.

Noelle blogs at 9:09 PM


Monday, January 16, 2006

what appears to be may not actually be.can feelings go wrong? everything in this world is a weighing scale. u just have to weigh which is lighter n which is heavier, u have to lose something to gain something, this is reality.
Deep in my heart there's a question mark that weighs a zillion tons n it has became a knot in my heart. my heart is not well, my mind is in a whirlwind.
Repressed thoughts, doubts, are invading my mind , my heart and they have make themselves residents. i do not want that, i totally detest that and i want them to relocate. im totally losing sleep here . Pls help me here. Do something. XXX, weigh what matters to you and make me the happiest person. i deserve it.am i not??

Noelle blogs at 9:28 AM


Sunday, January 15, 2006

*some things are better left unknown*

Noelle blogs at 3:42 PM


Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sis,

Really enjoyed last night with you...though soccer was boring...but your company and everybody's company was really comforting.Can't really explain, but I felt like home.haha...

Hope you enjoyed your New Year's Eve too.

Your insomia's back?

I think you need to re-adjust your clock and not go back to the opposites of day & night concept..I'm in the mist of adjusting my timing too.lol

Btw, don't go round looking for depression, ok?
You're nice this way..
Saw that you looked really happy ydae and I kinda understand why you love him that much. (details later) haha..

I hope that he's the one for you and that you would be happy and lead a healthy lifestyle from now on, ok?

Always remember & keep in mind that no matter our quarrels or misunderstandings, I'm here... Always here for you.
Just let me know, when ever you need me and I'll be there.

Remember the laminated card I gave you many years ago? haha...
It's still valid, my dear sis... Just keep the faith as I will for you.

Being happy is not a bad thing... It just might be a cure all for all our pblms.. :)

Love,

Debra

Noelle blogs at 10:56 PM


Thursday, December 29, 2005

i've been thinking about my life alot recently, past, present and the possible future.i've been off depression without d aid of any medication for awhile now n im glad, ironically, i feel depressed about nt being depressed cos i dun feel anymore, maybe i do, bt nt as intensely as wen i am.
sadly, insomnia has never given up on me, always sticking around to make sure i dont sleep, well this is exactly why i am still writing all these shit which i dun even sure what im talking about, i just blabber on wz d pacemaker of my mind.which as funny as i tot it might be, there's actually nothing in my mind....its a blank black piece of paper....
i wanna sleep ! .... bt i cant , my mind is running bt its nothing.... i wanna sleep ! god !
p:s _ read this only wen u r "whom it may concern" i know it has been really tiring physically basically waking up as early as 645am for work n only "allowed" to sleep only usually after 1am, i guess i will zonked out by 9pm if it was me, i just wanted to let u know that i really appreciate it n im so sorry cos u just haf to bear with it cos i cant help it ! :P

Noelle blogs at 10:40 AM


Friday, December 16, 2005

Would u hurt someone if u really love him/her?
would u say or do things to hurt someone u love wen u know that wld hurts?
im starting to feel that humans are so sinister, they hurt to make themselves feel better n more secured.
i once heard that labour pain is the most painful thing on earth but i beg to differ
the most painful thing in the world is "heart pain".

Noelle blogs at 11:47 PM


we took tis pic at sis's hse......


This is Debra blogging:
Sis, you asked me to write in your blog also but I afraid people don't know its me writing and think you're crazy...lol...so each time I blog here, I use pink colour, ok?And I'll also write the "Deb here:", ok?..lol.. & pls also feel free to blog in my blog....hmm....I think I'll set up another blog for both of us, easier right?that would be fun...haha

Noelle blogs at 9:56 AM


we took tis pic outside a pub at boat q..........
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Noelle blogs at 8:19 AM


sis u make me took pic wz u wzout makeup !!! i hate u !! joking la, anyway i like tis pic









sis,
debra here ah, ur always pretty to me ok.always have confidence in yourself.
infact alot of people tell me you're gorgeous,
so have more self confidence in yourself, ok?And I'm touched that you went to put this photo up cause I know you dun like this photo...so sweet of you..we should take more photos wogether in future, k?we seem to have so many gaps without rememberance of photos in our 11years of sisterhood.Ya noe how much photos mean to a person like me, right? ....
luv ya... =)

Noelle blogs at 8:16 AM


someone whom d love of my life who treats her better than me, someone who slept beside him.....
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Noelle blogs at 8:14 AM


Saturday, December 10, 2005









[GEMINI] May 22 ~ June 21:

Who is fond of life and jest and pleasure?

Who vacillates and changes ever?

Who loves attention without measure?

—Why Gemini!

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The third sign of the zodiac, Gemini is ruled by Mercury which represents intelligence invested in matter. The glyph symbolizes two pieces of wood bound together. In ancient times this was seen to signify the conflicts arising from contradictory mental processes. Geminis establish their relationship between the self and material substance through a balance of opposing thoughts. This bond may also be interpreted as the link between rhythm and form.
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In Gemini we move from the action, reaction response of Aries, Taurus to the interaction response. The Gemini nature Interacts with the environment, investigating, learning, knowing and exchanging ideas. The intellect dominates Gemini, and all things intellectual are valued greatly. As communication is also of importance to Geminis, knowledge is never a thing to be hoarded. Seldom is a twin more entertained than in the midst of exchanging ideas with others of an intellectual nature.

Gemini is traditionally associated with the vibrantpursuits and activities of the early summer season.Fifteenth century French manuscript.
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Being the most versatile and changeable of the signs, Geminis are seldom what they seem to be. Chameleon like, they will take a stand, voice an opinion, decide on an option then completely change their mind tomorrow. Nothing is ever written in stone by Gemini. They are truly a free soul, driven by curiosity and a desire to know and do. They usually have several things going at once, and within such chaos, they thrive.
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Geminis are bright, witty, entertaining and rarely get deeply absorbed in any one task. There are just too many things to do and know, and so many new people to meet. They prefer to skim the surface of many things, then to get deeply involved in one interest. If they do become drawn into something, they always feel they are missing out. It will always be what they aren't doing, or don't have, or the people they haven't met that intrigue them the most.


The great London fire of 1666 was forecastedfifteen years earlier by astrologer William Lilly.The catastrophe occurred during Gemini's month,represented here in a reverse and negative aspect.

-

Geminis are optimistic people. All things are fresh and fascinating for the twins, it's the way they like it to be. They often possess the enthusiasm of a child. Routine is boring, and boring is not allowed. Restless, with an active imagination and a keen intellect, life must be lived to the fullest for Gemini. Perceived as a game, life is best played with swift moves and entertaining teammates. With the zeal of a sportsman, Gemini analyzes everything. They often possess a compulsive need to know the why of all they experience. A twin wants to know the causes, motivations, and dynamics behind everything and everyone they encounter.
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Geminis are expressive folk, and this may manifest beyond mere speech. Often gifted with their hands, it seems whatever they touch does turn to gold. Their love of communication may also express itself as an affinity for languages, which they tend to pick up quite easily. Known for being great story tellers, Geminis have a knack of making life a little more interesting for the rest of us.

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Morality is not an issue, and values are situational. Gemini's are usually affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, thoughtful, and superficial. They are attractive and interesting people who instinctively know how to meet their own needs and will do whatever it takes to do so. Although self interest is always the primary motivator in a Gemini person, they are also known to be honest, straightforward and without guile. They are what they are, and usually have no problem admitting their failings. Whatever they choose as a course of action is done out in the open without a measure of deviousness. The symbolic constellation of Gemini.Eighteenth century wall mural.

-

Other Gemini traits include: adaptability, ingenuity and cleverness. They are a mental sign and therefore logical, even brilliant at times, possessing a great deal of charm. However, it is important to remember that the symbol for this sign is twins, and that not all twins are alike. There are broad distinctions within the Gemini character. In contrast to the shining one described above is the shadow twin. On the turn of a moment, Gemini can become cynical, biting, moody and quickly angered. Inseparable as two sides of a coin, those born in this sign can be dazzling and irresistible or inconstant and irrational.
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Geminis probably make better friends than they do lovers. They are entertaining companions and are more intrigued by the idea of love than the actual day to day involvement. Remember, what intrigues a Gemini is the unknown. Once something is familiar as an old pair of socks, the interest wears thin and the need for new worlds to investigate grows strong again. Geminis are fickle. This is not intentional, it is their basic nature to be so. Life seems too short a span to get very serious about anything for a Gemini. So, in love as in life, intensity of feeling is always fleeting. It is, while it is!

The Constellation of Gemini.Twelfth century European manuscript.

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Physically, Geminis have a youthful demeanor, sometimes childlike. Gemini rules the arms, shoulders, hands, lungs and nervous system. They generally have a sensitive nervous system, and don't fare well under too much stress. As Gemini considers danger about as seriously as they consider the rest of life, there is a need to restrain a sense of heroic invincibility.
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Origins in Mythology The constellation of Gemini has been seen as twin figures by cultures throughout the world, back into prehistory. The 'Two Stars', referring to its very bright suns, which the Greeks recognized as Castor and Polydeuces, were named for the younger and elder forms of the god Horus by the Egyptians. To the Romans they were Hercules and Apollo. Often perceived as twin boys, the lore sustains that they were placed in the night sky by Jove to honor and exemplify the fidelity of their brotherly love. In other instances they were seen as a sister and brother or two angels, then within later Christian traditions, as Adam and Eve.
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Stories of hero twins are also related throughout the world. For the Greeks their was Castor and Polydeuces, also known as the Dioscuri, or Heavenly Twins. They were the children of Zeus and Leda, queen of Sparta (yes...you may call them: 'sons of the swan.'), thus also the brothers to the infamous Helen, late of Troy. The exploits of these twins are many, and all heroic. In their youth they sailed with Jason to retrieve the Golden Fleece. To the Romans, who knew them as Castor and Pollux, the twins were invoked on the field of battle to assure victory. For centuries beyond they were held as guardians to sailors on extended or risky voyages.

-

So Leda's twins, bright-shining, at their beck
Oft have delivered stricken barks from wreck.
—Horace


Development & Production Credits:

Theme Editor - Louise Ogden — Primary Text - Laura Laurance

Art Direction : Thierry Alberto — Art Research : Malcom Hurrell

Structural Design : Mark Nelson — Research Assistant : Walter McCraeSupport

Production : Henry Craig, Joan Flandrin, Elisa Ryan

~ Link: http://www.elore.com/Astrology/Study/gemini.htm



Noelle blogs at 10:09 AM


Thursday, December 08, 2005

this entry is dedicated to my angel sheron, hey i read ur blog n im quite upset tt so much things haf happened to u bt i dunno wad cos u never told me bt its ok cos i noe u r really in no mood for any story telling esp thoes tt hurts...well ger, pple gossips , pple backstab, pple lie, pple do all sorts of things....all those i've experience them all, it totally crushed me tt time, it took me years to recover n i shut myself ...i cant say im fine now bt at least my anger n hurt haf subsided over d days.....i hope for ur recovery, i'll be thr for u....n tts a promise.....

Noelle blogs at 1:16 AM


this nails belonged to my angel sheron n i love it so much........sheron , if u r reading tis ........help me paint !!! help me paint !!!! *whines*
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Noelle blogs at 1:16 AM


my di di car now......so nice kenny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bt if me i will paint pink panther i tink nicer wor
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Noelle blogs at 1:06 AM


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Someone special .. J@$#i^..
when things r done told, it becomes so meaningless

when love cant surpass "nothing", it is meaningless
when someone special is not me , it hurts
~ someone special is one who hurts whom is special to me~
????????????? Someone special?????????????

Noelle blogs at 7:33 AM


Thursday, December 01, 2005

as far as anyone is concern, noelle like to start off her blog wz " its now 3-30am in d morn n d most possible logically reason is that she is bored(as usual) *rolls eyes* n having an insomnia .its been awhile she made an entry cos she has no life thus nutting to yak abt n no depression ( thank god ! ) for its only wen she is depressed that she can write, n perhaps tt's d only time she feels...
new yr is yet to hit yet n i've already had my resolution ready, resolutions that i never stick too *grinning widely*n *crying deeply*.......for god sake noelle !! pls stop being lazy n stop being a couch potato !!

Noelle blogs at 11:07 AM


Thursday, October 27, 2005


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Noelle blogs at 11:01 PM


below is my siao di's car wz his ugly stickers which i :shudder" d first time i saw it ...*ops* exxept for tt cute little froggy which he denied it as suspension.>>watever<<>**scratches*

Noelle blogs at 10:56 PM



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Noelle blogs at 5:06 AM



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Noelle blogs at 4:51 AM



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Noelle blogs at 4:39 AM


Wednesday, October 26, 2005


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Noelle blogs at 11:09 PM



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Noelle blogs at 11:07 PM


its been 4 mths since i felt nothing ......no depression , no nuttin bt HIGH ALERT ! ! i suspect im going crazy ...literally.i feel it creeping in, even as im typin n for 5 sec my mind went blank n here .>> im bk again ! can i say fuck ?? i came across d net abt a product call " flea terminator" i wonder do they haf " insanity terminator" if any1 cums across this product PLS INFORM ME... ur kindness will b rewarded wz my sanity. do i sound funny here? cos i do not want it to b....im totally crazy !

Noelle blogs at 10:13 PM


Monday, October 17, 2005


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Noelle blogs at 1:52 AM


never knew i could feel like this, like i've never seen the sky before, want to vanish inside your kiss, everyday i love you more And more, listen tov my heart can you hear it sing, come back to me and forgive everything. Seasons may change winter to spring... but i love you till the end of time.come to me i will love you until my time is done. Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, suddenly it's such a perfect grace, suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste, not it all revolves around you

Noelle blogs at 1:28 AM


Wednesday, October 05, 2005

we spend the 1st few moments of our life stark naked in a room full of strangers wz A DOCTOR IN A MASK N CLOTH BOOTEES PADDLING OUR BACKSIDE.

The battles r drawn ! ! we will either spend our life being influenced like this , or we'll get control of our own world by learning how to influence other pple........

Noelle blogs at 11:24 AM


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

i finally found someone .......someone whom i never tot i wld ever be with.......soemone whom never tot he be wz me ...he is someone who makes me laff, someone who's witty, someone who's never sweet wz his words.but unknowingly sweet to me wz his little gestures, out of d blue tt caught me unaware....he is d light of my life now...which i wish it wld b forever....he is my everything.......i believe in fate .n i believe in him...babies ! !

Noelle blogs at 11:49 AM


Thursday, September 15, 2005

is drinking d best anectdote for insomniacs??
ans-*shrugs*
pple who knew me noes me as a f*&king nut (sleepless one)
well, funnily,someone(to protect d pivacy of d person,name will nt b mentioned ) :P who saw d
other side of me (miracle) shot me wz a new nick ----pig !!!!-----stunned was my reaction
i didnt noe y bt it was rather frreaky cos my ex bf tot i was rather unusual from my usual self since d start of seventh month,to describe d events tt happened wld b a chore + tinking bk, i feel freaky too recalling wat happened, in a nutshell, i wasnt myself, d 2nd day sice d end of d 7th mth i called diana n told her of tis weird occurance n d first thing she asked me was " den do u feel tired?" ........ n i was !! i din noe y she ask me tt n i din ask bt d strange thing was , i was REALLY TIRED,erm,let me tink,....i was tired for almost a week i guess, i wld just knock out n sleep at any time(mostly early, ard 11-12,weird right ?? for someone like me to orh orh at tt time) + i just fell into deep slp ( nt really deep la.i rem tossing n turning n having dreams) almost immediately ....once on d floor !!! hw weird !!
its now 4-15 am in d morn n my eyes r as bright as d spotlight i see out of my window n i noe my insomnia has hit on me like a predator(bu yao lian guys)on a prey(definately nt me bt some sweet lookin targets)in a club.
today is d first day im experiencing it again n i all i can say is, it sucks.really really sucks.
i wanna sleep !!!!!
i cant even rem d feeling of being sleepy n i dun feel tired.
~im scared~

Noelle blogs at 12:47 PM


Saturday, September 03, 2005

mood= high....finally met up wz pretty gal sheron d sweetest gal in d world.bt she look kinda bored.sorry gal, too many pple to entertain liao bt im really happy to see her lor.we went momo.she waited for me for alomost 1 hr at far east lor cos i got stuck in d msia jam.......sped all d way dw bt still late lor.many things happen today it was a frenzy lor.so i dun wanna tok more cos quite drunk liao,bt pals u all noe la.im jus poured myself a glass of wine.hahaha.ok la.took quite some pics today bt no time to upload now so.......to b com\ntinued la ok.
ps:i look ugly in all d pics lor.....shitty.

Noelle blogs at 12:41 PM


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

staring at this screen , my mind is just a blank wz d song "jett look what u have done,fool of everyone "playing ....just came out of d shower...***fresh*** n somewhat empty inside of me.drank quite alot today, started at 10pm till nw(5)......tmlo is another day...last day of class too so its quite crucial i attend, of cos for d tips...*chuckles*its 7mins to 7 in d morn n d sky is a misty purplish blue,a calming coolness breezing nw n den, gosh, dun u just love d time just b4 dawn?

Noelle blogs at 2:00 PM


Saturday, July 09, 2005

my god daughter estella(my sis's) n chloe(diana's daughter), took wen we went over to sis place,dun they look cute?
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Noelle blogs at 12:07 AM


at d bkseat of stanley's car(last yr)
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Noelle blogs at 12:05 AM


last yr birthday at devils
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Noelle blogs at 12:04 AM


found these old pics-chun(my very gd frd) n me
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Noelle blogs at 12:04 AM


Friday, July 08, 2005


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Noelle blogs at 11:43 PM


sheron n me
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Noelle blogs at 8:46 AM


yap n me
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Noelle blogs at 8:46 AM


richard n me
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Noelle blogs at 8:33 AM


diana n me
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Noelle blogs at 8:09 AM


my birthday kiss
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Noelle blogs at 7:53 AM


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Noelle blogs at 7:42 AM


my sweet pals...........took on my birthday

Noelle blogs at 7:40 AM


Tuesday, June 28, 2005

*bad thrOat* must b dat stout i drank b4 i slp tis morn~~~arggghhhh~~~~ went jb last night wz fabian, gerald, guang qiu n justin...love justin's pink foglite on his white subaru (white's my fav coLor on a car n pink...sweet) im gOnna $teaL his car One of these days...ssshhh.. douglas invited me to join him 4 dinner 2day requesting maybe i cld help him play host 2 his australian old couple guest...i dunno if im gg ,gEEzzz...i'll stop here nw>>>>>my mum is waiting me 2 watch dvd so i'll blog again tonight ...dat is, provided im hm early n able..

Noelle blogs at 11:34 PM


Wednesday, June 01, 2005

i noe..i haven been blogging for a long time cos i've been out drinking EVERDAY so pple, i dun tink u even saw me on msn right? >>n dats a gd thing cos i can finally get my ass off tis *make me fat* chair n chat from dusk to dawn~~been a fruitful week though, my rendevous started off on d 18th of may(dat was d day of my gd pal from hongkong jenny) i was happy to attend her ROM , really happy for her..this stewpig chinese blogger page of mine is really killing me...being chinese illiterate,im not able to upload any pictures yet, sori guys bt i will sure upload them when some kind chinese literate soul wld help me wz it...probably i'll just get my camera over to some free soul place to do it ..>>come on buddies out thr????<<< who can help me???...i dun want this blog to appear long so i'll blog again wen im awake enuf....

Noelle blogs at 10:32 PM


Tuesday, May 17, 2005

*Yawnz* finally finish my assignment my lecturer requested us 2 do,just trying to read from d textbook is darn tiring since my attention span is like 5secs ( no joke ) tried doing it since 2pm nw its almost 2am ^-^ watever it is, some happy things happened 2 me 2day....finally got back in contact wz my 2pals fr canada....d last time we saw each other was in london 4yrs ago, wow..im so thrilled..being a scatterbrain i lost their email address bt it just goes to show dat fate wants us 2 b reunited. thr's some1 i noe who doesnt believe in fate n hate wad fate has done 2 him, regarding dat,i deeply empathised bt so far believing in fate has somehow gotten myself a ray of light..alot of happiness... alot of nice sweet people ( u noe who u r )believing in fate made me learn hw to let go of some things n b happy ( no doubt i need a lot of dat cos i tend 2 b a pessimistic n "dark" person ) so 4 now b haPPy.

Noelle blogs at 10:37 AM


Saturday, May 14, 2005

Day- bloody satur-boring-day
time-16-24
weather-SUPER sunny though i get a hunch it will rain(*damn*)
its d day of d week again,I HATE WEEKENDS,i haf no idea y i rejected all dates wen i feel so bored here at hm wz fungus growing all over my head-look out of d window, looks like its gonna rain soon..ops..NOoooooo pls dun rain n let d sun set cos im waiting 4 d sun 2 get out of sight so i can go jog, hopefully i will feel better, happier after d "feel gd chemicals"(mr endorphins) flood my depressed head.PLS DUN RAIN

Noelle blogs at 1:22 AM


Wednesday, May 11, 2005

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Brainfog~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More and more Fibromyalgia is being recognized as one of the more prevalent chronic pain illnesses. Fibromyalgia is characterized by widespread musculoskeletal aches, pain and stiffness, soft tissue tenderness, fatigue, and sleeplessness. Most researchers agree that FM or Fibromyalgia is caused by neuroendocrine/neurotransmitter dysregulation. A Fibromyalgia sufferer experiences extreme pain amplification due to abnormal sensory processing in the central nervous system. Fibromyalgia most commonly occur in the following areas of the body:
Neck
Back
Shoulders
Pelvic area
Hands

The above list include some of the most common areas to experience Fibromyalgia; however, Fibromyalgia can occur in any and all body parts. Consider some of the following symptoms:
Pain (profound, widespread, and chronic pain)
Fatigue (all-encompassing exhaustion)
Sleep Problems (cannot achieve deep, restful, restorative sleep)
Irritable bowel and bladder
Headaches and Migraines
Restless leg syndrome
Impaired memory and concentration
Skin sensitivities and rashes
Dry eyes and mouth
Anxiety
Depression
Ringing in the ears
Dizziness
Vision problems
Neurological symptoms
Impaired coordination



Noelle blogs at 9:39 AM


Tuesday, May 10, 2005

im begnining 2 believe dat i do not know myself anymore,all dat change in me, hw afraid of physical pain i've becum..maybe its a gd sign cos im finally living like a proper human being... in d past, i wld always seek n inflict physical pain 2 feel dat i still exist-is it a gd sign? or is it worse? d emotional void still, remain intact tightly in me. i've been putting off my blood test mainly of d cost of d test,contadictingly, it's primarily bcos im afraid of dat "ant bite"dat needle's going to cause me.yes i know, im useless bt even myself dont know y i am so afraid of that,to give myself a lame excuse, i wld tag tis 2 my last encounter wz needles_acupuncture(on my belly) d pain-*undescribable*.

Noelle blogs at 2:04 AM


Sunday, May 08, 2005

i wonder if anyone can fall asleep while walking...i almost did sibeh jialat...i blame it on d food we had, luckily bro din request me 2 drive back tis time cos i can barely open my eyes...
they went out again to far east square dunno which pub, to watch arsenal vs liverpool,i wanted to join bt i promise myself to quit drinking,knowing myself as a "i can resist anything bt temptation person"i noe d trip wld only cause me distress*chuckles*
felt really sad n down yday,(let's nt talk abt y anymore) felt so sad n lonely, i needed a shoulder,even some concern fr xxx bt nt even a word~pathetic~it gt really bad dat i walk ard d hse unconsciously n finally settled dw in front of d com,"bored"..."moody" appeared on my screen,it was richard..d rest is history..guess wad?he became my victim of cries...i poured everything on him-it felt so gd-haha.he really noe hw 2 comfort me n divert my tots n bad feelings..thxs richie * I O U * ~ *chEerZ* nt forgetting sik tui n richmond...thxs i realli appreciate ur concern.. love u guys

Noelle blogs at 8:12 AM



Noelle blogs at 12:16 AM


Saturday, May 07, 2005

my dear frd thomas wrote me this....hw sweet...lovely ^_^
You promise your smile and Everything
Hang in my head that cannot be erased
The Sea and Wind n the Sky
Prick the memories once afresh

In life of this or of next
I'll be with you once again
You may be gone
yet i know it wont be long

went 2 bed only at 8am tis morn, guess dat im nt young anymore,somehow both mentally n physically, im worn out ~totally~....i wonder if its due 2 d stress im crashed on...thr's just tis surge of waves surging tru my whole empty shell(dats wat i feel like )n stuck at d tip of my head-stress level-definately high its like a time bomb, exploding any moment...(well i do hope it does)im so trapped in tis horrid decaying shell....wats stressing me??? ans=infinity?
i isolate myself, i run n i hide...usually its just escaping bt it haunts me like a vengeful ghost**** HELP****



























Noelle blogs at 12:03 AM


Friday, May 06, 2005

juz created tis new blog n i simply luV it~!!!!!!!! its almost 3am...*yaWnz*...had a bottle of red wine at a pub name bojangles at railway maLL wz tis mr sweetie yap...Funny tink, we change tables twice*hah hah*...pretty crowded thr.eh actuali it was full hse la...mummy cooked yummy assam fish n b4 i went drinkng i ate alot of dat yummy fishyyyyyyyy....so wen i started d first sip of wine i almost vomitted cos im use to drink on a empty stomach~ouch!...ok so dats all for d gd things....here cums d bad things.........went to d doc today n had a ECG test for my heart n seems like its faster than normal pple.doc advise me to go to d hospitl for a cardio scan .wats worse, he suspected i haf thyroid prob n wanted me 2 haf a blood test...2yrs ago another doc suspected it too bt i refuse to haf a blood test cos im afraid of d stewpig horrifying needle!!!!.bt i guess im gg for d blood test soon..if my angels giv me d courage.whoever is reading tis pls pray 4 me.god bless u...:P well.........im tired nw...n i need more wine.budden.....................................haizzzzzzzzzzzzzz..its locked up in d store...p:s-i tink im gg to die soon.................til den take care all.health is d most impt~~~~

Noelle blogs at 11:42 AM